A former U.S. Army general tasked with overseeing U.S.-led military support for Ukraine lost classified maps on a train in Europe and was concussed after an “overindulgence in alcohol” during a dinner in Ukraine, according to a report by the U.S. Department of Defense’s Inspector General.
The 50-page report, dated March 12, found that Retired Army Major General Antonio Aguto Jr., who led the German-based Security Assistance Group-Ukraine (SAG-U), violated policy in his handling of classified maps while on a State Department-chartered trains.
SAG-U, which was established in November 2022 with about 300 military personnel, assists with “coordinating the training and equipping of the Armed Forces of Ukraine,” out of Wiesbaden, Germany, according to the Pentagon.
Why even have the maps with you when you’re going out drinking?
Edit: the reason he got hammered was because he was stuck in a six hour long military dinner event lol.
As for why he had the maps, despite us all reading the summary the same way, the “and” in “lost maps on train and got concussion after drinking” is actually being used to delineate two entirely unrelated events
Only the best people.
Incident happened two years ago in March of 2024.
If I were a US General right now, I’d want to drink myself to death too.
There are better alternatives
Edit: I forget if there is an original source somewhere. But this version literally removes the joke by replacing “educated” with “brainwashed” with a bad dub. The joke was him saying “Educate Me? Americas son? THAT will be a challenge”. I guess the ultimate irony is that they needed to remove the education line and replace it with “brainwashed” for Americans.
I mean, look. Who among us, am I right?
Ah. The Kegseth Maneuver.
Alternate title: “Handoff of classified documents comes with free drinks.”
Handpicked by Kegsbreath








