Mar 9: “The war is ending almost completely, and very beautifully.”
Mar 11: “You never like to say too early you won. We won. In the first hour it was over.”
Mar 12: “We did win, but we haven’t won completely yet.”
Mar 13: “We won the war.”
Mar 14: “Please help us.”
Mar 15: “If you don’t help us, I will certainly remember it.”
Mar 16: “Actually, we don’t need any help at all.”
Mar 16: “I was just testing to see who’s listening to me.”
Mar 16: “If NATO doesn’t help, they will suffer something very bad.”
Mar 17: “We neither need nor want NATO’s help.”
Mar 17: “I don’t need Congressional approval to withdraw from NATO.”
Mar 18: “Our allies must cooperate in reopening the Strait of Hormuz.”
Mar 19: “US allies need to get a grip - step up and help open the Strait of Hormuz.”
Mar 20: “NATO are cowards.”
Mar 21: “The Strait of Hormuz must be protected by the countries that use it. We don’t use it, we don’t need to open it.”
Mar 22: “This is the last time. I will give Iran 48 hours. Open the strait”
Mar 22: “Iran is Dead”
Mar 23: “We had very good and productive talks with Iran.”
Mar 24: “We’re making progress.”
Mar 25: “They gave us a present and the present arrived today. And it was a very big present worth a tremendous amount of money. I’m not going to tell you what that present is, but it was a very significant prize.”
Mar 26: “Make a deal, or we’ll just keep blowing them away.”
Mar 27: “We don’t have to be there for NATO.”
Mar 28: No major quote
Mar 29: Claimed talks were progressing
Mar 30: “Open the Strait of Hormuz immediately, or face devastating consequences.”
Mar 31: Claimed a deal was “very close” and that Iran would “do the right thing”
Apr 1: “We’ll see what happens very soon.”
Apr 2: Repeated that a deal was likely, while warning of continued strikes if not
Apr 3: “Something big is going to happen.”
Apr 4: Said Iran must comply “immediately” or face further consequences. “Tuesday 8 PM ET”.
Apr 5: “Open the fuckin’ Strait, you crazy bastards, or you’ll be living in Hell - JUST WATCH! Praise be to Allah.”
I like your post. 50 years from now, high school students are going to open their US History book and read what the orange bumble fuck said during a war he started. Humiliating and perhaps the Americans might learn a lesson from the MAGA disaster.
Americans learning true history, instead of propaganda?
Never gonna happen. When orange turd dies, there will be zero changes to your democratic system and a new pedophile controlled by billionaires will be elected.
I’m talking about education and the American capitalist propaganda and brainwashing in American schools.
Did you know that in the USA about 70% of the history curriculum in schools is USA history, and only about 30% is about the rest of the world. But the USA is not even 250 years old!
Compare that with Europe, where kids spend about 30% of the time learning about their own country’s history and 70% learning other history.
Americunts don’t even realise just how brainwashed and full of capitalist propaganda they are.
is this list accurate and not embellished for comedic effect?
Is he going to nuke them I wonder? What else could that final threat be?
this guy is starting to behave a lot like that putin guy
waaaaaiiit uuuuppp…
The USA is a second-world country. There are no first-world countries.
I like your post. 50 years from now, high school students are going to open their US History book and read what the orange bumble fuck said during a war he started. Humiliating and perhaps the Americans might learn a lesson from the MAGA disaster.
Americans learning true history, instead of propaganda?
Never gonna happen. When orange turd dies, there will be zero changes to your democratic system and a new pedophile controlled by billionaires will be elected.
If you think your government isn’t lying to you… I have some news
I’m talking about education and the American capitalist propaganda and brainwashing in American schools.
Did you know that in the USA about 70% of the history curriculum in schools is USA history, and only about 30% is about the rest of the world. But the USA is not even 250 years old!
Compare that with Europe, where kids spend about 30% of the time learning about their own country’s history and 70% learning other history.
Americunts don’t even realise just how brainwashed and full of capitalist propaganda they are.
Preaching to the choir. Good job ignoring what your government is lying about while doubling down on obvious common knowledge.
Adding some sources, in case people think these quotes are satirical.
Edits: some longer quotes (which takes away from the punchy format by Linken) and non-chronological groupings.
2026-02-28 “When we are finished, take over your government. It will be yours to take”
2026-04-01 “We never said regime change, but regime change has occurred because of all of their original leaders’ death — they’re all dead […] The new group is less radical and much more reasonable.”
2026-04-01 “We are in this military operation so powerful, so brilliant, against one of the most powerful countries, for 32 days,”
2026-04-01 “We’re going to hit them extremely hard over the next two to three weeks. We’re going to bring them back to the stone ages, where they belong.”
2026-04-04 “48 hours before all Hell will reign [sic] down on them.”
2026-04-05 “Tuesday will be Power Plant Day, and Bridge Day, all wrapped up in one, in Iran. There will be nothing like it!!! Open the Fuckin’ Strait, you crazy bastards, or you’ll be living in Hell – JUST WATCH! Praise be to Allah.”
2026-04-06 “Every bridge in Iran […] every power plant […] I mean complete demolition by 12 o’clock”
2026-04-07 “A whole civilization will die tonight, never to be brought back again.”
Thank you! I copied the comment from elsewhere, I appreciate your additions!
Apr 8: TACO!
(I hope)
That’s the thing I was wondering about the TACO meme. Is it good to mock him on chickening out when it is best for everybody that he does chicken out?
It’s always a good idea to mock him. If he can’t handle it he is free to resign.
I swear we live in the dumbest timeline. Can we switch back to pre-Covid timeline before Trump?
And now he says they agreed to a cease fire and reopen the Strait.